Abby and We – Tales of the Worst Emotionally Damaged Dog

I or Tim should write a book. I mean Josh Grogan did it about his dog Marley didn’t he? If you never read Marley and Me, you should – or go see the movie that will be coming out Christmas day. It’s a funny, heart warming book about a family and their supposedly “worst dog” Marley. They should have tried out a Wire Fox terrier name Abby for size and then they’d see what truly a “worst/best/emotionally damaged for no good reason” dog is!

Don’t get me wrong, I love the little bitch. She has personality like you wouldn’t believe…but for some reason she seems either that she is entitled to be royalty or that we beat her in our sleep without us knowing it - she does some weird shit. She’s really a tough audience. I think perhaps she was either a Queen or Princess of some sort in another life. Her perpetual glare seems to say “We are not amused”. Or my favourite expression of hers I am pretty darn sure she says to us all the time “Fuck off human”.

Since she was a pup from 8 weeks of age, she’s just been so damn serious and looks like she feels entitled to it all! We thought it was us! We couldn’t get her to play for any long length of time. But when she did like something it was a sickness – an Obsession (in case you don’t know Terriers, then tend to have obsessive compulsive disorder of some sort). At one point in the first few weeks I came home and Tim was LIVID and said “That is it, we are taking her back. I am damaging her”. I kept trying to reassure him that it had to be her , she was defective – I had met other dogs and they were so “normal”. We discovered only 3 years later getting her puppy Guinness that indeed she was abnormal, and that Fox Terriers are generally very goofy, fun and cuddly. As Abby got “older” we discovered how smart she is – maybe that is part of the problem, we are just too stupid to be her owners.

I then discovered a few ways to keep her entertained for longer stretches of time: Dog Obedience (so she is generally well behaved), Agility, Flyball, and walks in the woods/hiking. And the LASER pointer which we don’t use anymore as she was just too obsessed over it.

At any rate, it is hard to sum up all the “worst” events this Terrier has done. I’ll try and list a few here – and keep in mind, I laugh at all this, cause what else can you do?
- she’s destroyed a whole front hall of baseboards;
- she’s peed on the bed multiple times (she has to sleep on the floor now);
- she’s peed on the couch and chair this past weekend – did I mention she’s 5 years old - floor for no apparent reason;
- we have to put the baby gate up at night for fear of stepping into a pile of “something smelly” in the morning.;
- She eats the stuffing in any toy we buy;
- She cries for food – oh wait now she barks at us for it, but before she had her litter of puppies she would rarely eat – From one extreme to the other it seems;
- She beats up, mounts, obsessively licks her boy Guinness – he is usually too scared to move, and also she Tim – to dominate it seems;
- When we go to leave in the morning, and tell her to go upstairs she acts like we’ve beaten the crap out of her.
- When you groom her, she looks and acts like you are killing her
- She used to bolt out of the house the first year and a half – sending us into frantic mode – that Laser pointer then became VERY useful.
- When I take her out for her last pee, she looks at me like I’m destroying her spirit;
- She GLARES – OH BOY does she glare…See pictures here for details;

I could go on about this truly cranky pants dog, but I won’t. Now don’t get me wrong, I would not trade her for anything. I love her to bits. And if we had not gotten her, then we would not have a stunted, not so bright but such a good loving puppy Guinness. But this is what we vow…..we shall never get another female Terrier again – unless the breeder knows for sure she’s dumb and happy like Guinness.

I’d take a dumb Marley dog (or another Guinness dog) any day – at least he was happy and goofy, not a crabby serious Terrier.

OH but Abby…you do make me smile!!!!!